Monday, June 04, 2007
the Accidental Party...
A while back, my friends Merry and Karena asked if we could have a small get-together at my house... just a few of the Girls, because Merry was going to be back in Taos for a few days and wanted to see everyone. So, OK. Sure, I said. But I have to work, so we'll do potluck and keep it simple. After that, it was completely out of my hands, and by the time Saturday night arrived, it had turned into a full-blown Birthday Party for all of us turning 50 this year. I didn't know any of the people who showed up at my door for the first hour, and was starting to feel a little bit like a caterer. But everyone was lovely, and soon my own friends started to arrive, Rick pulled some pizzas out of the wood-fired oven on the patio, and Karena got the blender going with mango margaritas. It didn't take long to get into a party mood!
People chatted on the patio, and we got out all our old records and dusted off the turntable. (Kids - ask your mom what records and turntables are... antiques from the 60's and 70's!) Everyone played DJ, and danced with shakers and tambourines in the living room. There was cake, of course, and the Beatles "Birthday".
And then came the gifts... Oh no! I hadn't even considered getting gifts for anyone! I was doing well to get a shower in before everyone arrived! And my own particular birthday is still over a month away, so I really felt disconnected from that part of the festivities. But there I was, with a lap full of pink and green tissue paper wrapped packages, all presented with love from my friends. It was touching and lovely, and everything I opened was thoughtful and wonderful. And then I got to the one that made me cry... a book called, "Fearless Women - midlife portraits", given to me by Karena.
I've been struggling with this whole turning 50 thing... not happy about it in any way. I wasn't sure why exactly, but now I know... as I was heading into my 40's, I knew what I wanted that decade to bring. For years I told myself that I would be "amazing" in my 40's. I planned to get things done and make myself heard in the world. I feel like I did more than I knew I could, and the last 10 years have been the best time of my life. But here I am, looking 50 square in the eye, and truthfully, I've been freaking out. When Karena presented me with that book, I realized that I didn't have a plan for the next years, and that I was feeling lost and scared. I didn't have a catchword, like "amazing", to escort me into a new decade. But now I do! My new focus for the next part of the adventure is FEARLESS. I might even tattoo it on my arm, in case I need a reminder now and then. The Fearless 50's... I can do a lot with that!
And so... an Accidental Party became a life changing event for me. And I think everyone else had a pretty good time too. I have quite a few photos, which are all here so my friends can see them without having to download a fat file from my website. The rest of you can skip them if you like. But then again... this life in Taos is pretty interesting to look in on...
That's all... Thanks everyone!